Let me start by saying this, I grew up on the south side of Chicago in the Englewood neighborhood. This was not an easy life as my community struggled due to poverty, gang violence, under resourced schools and lack of job security. I have seen children as young as 9 years old handcuffed by police. Their charges were being Black in America.
Now don’t get me wrong I love all people but I ain’t no damn fool either. At least, I ain’t no more. Growing up, I definitely had the belief of seeing the good in people regardless of race. Yeah, I believed in the white washed Dr.King but not the real one. However, it was all I knew.
For much of my earlier life, I was told that I sweet or that I was so nice. I was really just a people please really and because of that I was taken advantage of many times. I allowed people to do things toward that made me highly uncomfortable.
Fast forward express, I am now in High School. This would be the first time in my life that I encountered White people on a daily basis. I thought to myself damn Dr.King dream came true and I couldn’t be more wrong. There were some racial tension between students and staff. Many White teachers made generalizations about the very black students they came to work with, but can you say when your school was founded due to a white saviors complex.
Many of my white teachers thought that Police were justified in the way the treated Black Teenagers, however, doing much of my time in High School, I suffered from an identity crisis where I began to hate everything black including myself. This was a stressful time as a transitioned from a straight “white” man, I mean that in the most ironic way, to a very proud gay black man.
In College, I began my real journey of self exploration and expectations. The orientation directors and leaders were so nice and friendly, my dumb ass was like awwn ,White people,are so great. oooh we, I was a mess. Many white students would say racist shit because I was the complacent black friend. C’mon, you are not black I would hear. Or can I touch your hair as Rachel rubs my head without my explicit permission. That feeling of being uncomfortable came back to haunt me and I would just sit there and allow micro-aggressive behavior to taunt day in and out. I began to grow extremely irritated with the white people I was around calling out their bullshit became a daily fucking battle.
Omg..my life would be so much better if I were black. Why are Black people so ghetto? You only got in because you are black! Why do call yourself Black, wouldn’t it be better to say African American, I know that I feel more comfortable with African American says the white guy, who no one ask for his opinion. Why is there no White Student Union?
The ignorance behind these statements makes me want to rage and that’s damn sure what I am going to do. I don’t give a fuck about looking like an Angry black man. The stuff that I have gone through and seen happen towards others that look like me is a living fucking nightmare. Growing up where I went days to probably weeks with out food in my stomach. Parents working 2-3 Jobs at a time not able to be there for their children when they needed the. people trying to make make a living anyway they could. there has not been a lot we could do as our communities have been destroyed for generations after generations through racist polices that affected our housing, schooling, and employment opportunities. This stills goes on today even in 2020!
Lets be honest, White People my existence makes you uncomfortable because when you look at me, I am a reminder of the horrors and pain that your Ancestors inflicted on mine. you tell my people to get over slavery because you know as well as we do that it left a mark of Generational Trauma. You hate us because you know we will not rest until we get the justice we deserve. you know that one day that we all will shake the world from African-Americans to Haitians to Nigerians, you know are power in Numbers is massive, you know you need us more than we need you. your comfort is depended upon us being complacent but those days are crumbling and will fall. We will resist, We will fight, we will be proud, we are Black, Our African spirit will rise again!
Liberation of African People 